Uncle Cortie's Frankenbrio
Uncle Cortie's Frankenbrio was the thirteenth episode produced of the [[List of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures! episodes (season 3)|third season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!]]. In this episode, the theft of his latest experiment leads Dr. Nitrus Brio to finally get fed up with his frail body. He vows to beef himself up, and enlists Dr. Neo Cortex to help. But, when the experiment goes wrong, Brio becomes Frankenbrio and goes on a rampaging spanning the Three Islands! Plot Summary Deep in the heart of Brio Hotel, Dr. Nitrus Brio is toiling away in his secret lab, pouring a mysterious green liquid back and forth between two beakers. Suddenly, Uka Uka appears in a puff of smoke, and asks Brio how their "secret project" is coming along. Brio assures the masky one that it's going well. Uka Uka is relieved - his evil enterprise has been floundering lately thanks to the many, many professional failings of Dr. Neo Cortex, and he's confident that Brio's "special evil chemical with many evil properties" will be of immense assistance in taking over the world. Brio thanks Uka Uka for repaying him by giving him a counterfeit star, bringing Brio Hotel up to five. Uka just says he's always glad to help out a friend - "AS LONG AS YOU DON'T FAIL ME!!!". On this note, Uka Uka takes his leave, in a puff of smoke, and Brio resumes pouring the liquid back and forth. But soon, he's interrupted again - this time by a mysterious figure in silhouette, who demands, via a mechanically altered voice, that Brio hand over the potion, pronto! Brio refuses to hand it over, but the unknown thief easily snatches it out of his hands. "That's it, now you've made the Brio angry", he shouts! He charges at the potion pilferer with his fists clenched, but the unknown assailant quickly defeats him with a quick slap to the face, before disappearing into the shadows from whence he or she came. Later that day, Coco is watching Wumpavision. Specifically, the Five O'Clock News. Crashie enters from the kitchen, and proudly informs her that lunch is almost ready. She still doesn't understand why he's cooking for her, but he simply explains that he'll do anything to avoid having to sit in the living room and watch awful, awful news with her! He heads back into the kitchen, as Coco watches a generic news Wumporter (Tara Charendoff) talking about a nefarious burglary that has taken place at the famous Brio Hotel. The culprit even had the audacity to slap Dr. Nefarious Brio, she Wumports! "That's horrible," Coco thinks. Brio speaks up to tell the Wumporter that she got his name wrong, but she has little to no interest in listening to him. Crashie pokes his head out of the kitchen to ask Coco how much Wumpsugar you're supposed to use to make Wumparoni and cheese, but she just chastises him for knowing nothing about the culinary arts. For good measure, she also hurls her favourite coffee mug at his head. Meanwhile, Dr. Neo Cortex and Uka Uka are watching the same Wumport. Uka Uka is concerned. "I hope they didn't steal the potion I was secretly having him make because you're so inept," he declares. Asks a confused Cortie, "What'd you just say?" But Uka Uka insists that he said absolutely nothing. Cortex, though initially doubtful, quickly decides that he has no reason not to believe his terrific boss. Meanwhile, at Brio Hotel, Brio is attempting to check in a guest - Squirrelly the Squirrel (once again voiced by James Avery). Brio proudly reports that he's specially prepared a room that fit all of Squirrelly's requests: it's got a jacuzzi, it's got "super-premium Wump-per-view programming", and it's got a room with a balcony overlooking the famous Pinstripe Potoroo's office in Cortex Power. Brio says he wonders why he'd want to be so close to a nuclear power plant, but Squirrelly just huffily reminds him that it's mighty unprofessional to pry into paying customers' personal business. Brio supposes he's right, and just slips the terrifying professional businessman squirrel his card key. Squirrelly takes it...then stops to get a closer look at Brio..."hey, you're that guy from Wumpavision who got hilariously beat up", he finally realises! Squirrelly laughs hard at Brio's weakness, much to the doctor's chagrin. He slips off into his office, blushing all the while. As he sits at the desk, a tear trails down his cheek into his coffee mug. "It's been a thoroughly awful day for ol' Nitrus", he awkwardly muses. Meanwhile, Crash is talking to his good friend, Ripper Roo. Crash says his sister Coco needs her laptop fixed. Normally she'd bring it on her own - she's a big girl now, after all - but she's become entirely too absorbed in Wumpavision! Not even the good kind - she's watching gross news. Ewwwwww. She hasn't left their beach house in days, he reports! Ripper Roo's esteemed colleague Dr. Polar says that her Wumpavision usage probably indicates "intense psycho-atrical issues". Ripper Roo nods. "I didn't come here for your secret scientist twin language", Crashie whines! He only came here to get her laptop fixed - and even then, he's only doing that to get out of the house, away from that icky information. Ripper Roo confesses that he's not really a computer scientist, but still, he'll do his best. Meanwhile, Uka Uka pays Dr. Nitrus Brio another visit in his lab. "I thought I told you not to fail me. But it sounds an awful lot like you're failing me!" Brio feebly attempts to explain the situation, but Uka Uka will have none of it. He's putting his Fist Bone down - Brio has 24 hours to retrieve their super-secret potion, or Uka Uka is breaking their contract and finding someone else to produce evil supplies for him! And with that, Uka Uka flies off, straight through the wall, leaving a big, gaping hole. Now, Brio is panicking, to the extreme. Whatever will he do? Meanwhile, Crashie returns home with Coco's laptop, and he proudly announces that it's all fixed now. Coco, still busy watching WNN, just nods. Crash decides to show her how good it works now, so he pops the laptop open and pushes the Power button. This causes a countdown to begin. 3....2....1....BOOM! A massive explosion engulfs the house, mildly charring Crash's signature jeans! Coco sighs. "I thought I told you, whatever you do, NOT to take this thing to Ripper Roo!" Crash snaps back: "You should've known I'm not to be trusted! You should've just done it yourself!" But Coco just shrugs, and resumes watching the news, to Crashie's chagrin. Meanwhile, Cortie is in his lab, brainstorming ways to "build a better eggtrap". But, suddenly, a knock at the door. It's his old friend Brio, who tearfully confesses to Cortie that he's sick of being so weak all the time. So, he's come to ask Cortex to make him strong! Cortie respectfully declines, but Brio points out that he did ask nicely, after all. "Well, that changes everything," notes Cortie, observantly. He takes Brio into his second, secret laboratory, where we see a quick montage of Cortex unpacking a box of extra-burly department store mannequins and fashioning them into a new body for Brio, all set to the tune of this week's original song, a brief duet between Cortex and Brio entitled "He Befriended Me with Science". At the conclusion of the song, Cortie gaily announces that his experiment was a success! At this very moment, lightning strikes Cortex Castle repeatedly, funnelling excessive amounts of electricity through all of Cortex's scientific thingamajigs and doodads and Tesla coils, straight into Brio. Brio sits up, and we at home see, for the first time, his terrifyingly muscular new physique, albeit only in silhouette. When we return, the now-powerful Brio thanks Cortex for strengthening him up. To prove his newfound power, he picks up a table and balances it on his pinky finger, causing Cortie much gleeful pride in his professional sciencing. But suddenly, another, RED lightning bolt strikes Cortex Castle, and the evil red electricity is funnelled through the gauntlet of scientific doodads and thingamajigs and Tesla coils into Brio's body, causing his eyes to glow red. Cortex asks his friend if he's okay, but Brio simply responds with a roar! Cortie begins to panic - that last jolt of lightning must have made Brio's new body go berserk, he expositionally realises out loud. As if to prove this, Brio lunges at Cortex, grabbing him by his feet and stuffing him head-first into an empty beaker! Then, Brio breaks a window and disappears into the night. An obviously disgruntled Cortex calls for Beaker Bill to come help him. However, his call is instead answered by Banana Bill, along with his best friend Boysenberry Larry. Bill reports to Cortex that he'll be of no assistance, as he hasn't really dabbled in the realm of beakers in years. "This is just fantastic", cries Cortex, sarcastically. Without anyone to free him from his glass beaker prison, how will he survive? Larry offers to help in the only way he knows how - he pulls out a pitcher of boysenberry syrup and pours it inside Cortie's beaker. Now he has something deliciously and nutritiously fruity to provide sustenance for however long he might be stuck in there! Cortex, reluctantly, thanks his good friend Boysenberry Larry. Meanwhile, in the Bandicoots' lovely beach house, Coco is still addicted to Wumpavision news. Crashie is huddled in the corner, weeping, because he hates it so much. Suddenly, the Bananaphone rings, but Coco refuses to get it, because she's preoccupied. Crash swallows the tears, sighs, and reluctantly picks up the phone. It's for Coco! But she doesn't want to talk. At this point, the shot shifts into that cliché split-screen phone shot that every show does, and we see that it's none other than Tom Wumpert (Kevin Michael Richardson) on the other end of the line! Tom complains to Crashie that this week's episode of Meat the Garlic Press is scheduled to begin in fifteen minutes, and Coco was scheduled to be a panellist this week. And now that she's refusing to show up, the show will be ruined if they can't find a replacement! After much thought, Crashie decides that being part of the news has to be at least slightly less awful than merely watching it, so he volunteers to take her place. He slams down the phone, pulls an old, dusty jacket out of the closet, yanks off Aku Aku's Clip-On Tie Feather for his own use, and assembles a very professional-looking outfit. Aku Aku protests that Crash didn't even bother to ask if he could borrow that feather before taking it, but Crashie points out that he'll grow a new one soon enough anyway. Aku Aku, of course, finds this convincing enough to back down. Meanwhile, Pinstripe is sunbathing (in his suit) in his Cortex Power office, for some reason. The camera pans up to Squirrelly's suite, overlooking the office. Squirrelly emerges from his jacuzzi, with a towel already around his waist, declaring to no one in particular that he's all nice and relaxed now. "Now, it's time to do what I came here for". He pulls a water balloon out of his pocket and loads it into a very cartoony looking bazooka, as dramatic music plays. Meanwhile, the rest of the Three Islands are in an uproar, as Frankenbrio ravages the countryside and personally inconveniences everyone! He destroys Polar's new futuristic "soft-serve ice cream hub". He douses Pura with paint thinner, causing her stripes to run. He carelessly devours Banana Bill's banana and Boysenberry Larry's boysenberry. He bends Dingodile's trumpet so it can't play a single note. He replaces all of Ripper Roo's TNT Crates with boring regular crates. He cuts the brake line on Rilla Roo's bulldozer, causing him to go hurtling down a steep hill, straight into a bouncy castle! He steals Frenchie Waiter's favourite pen so he can't write down orders any more. He uses said pen to draw a big, ugly frowny face on President Papu Papu's belly. He ruins Dr. Nefarious Tropy's date with Dr. N. Traction by tagging along as an awkward third wheel. He replaces the Komodo Brothers' swords with big, floppy swordfish. He shoves a bouquet of roses into Dr. N. Gin's missile. He replaces the makeup in Melbrook Gabbons's dressing room with itching powder, to obvious results. He reshapes Tiny's bedroom so it's round - thus rendering Tiny hopelessly, tearfully confused when Cortie, still in beaker form, barges into the room, grounds Tiny, and tells him to spend some time in the grounding corner. ("I can't find any corners anywhere!") Finally, Frankenbrio breaks into Oxide Station and rips up Oxide's schematics for a "World Parking-Lot-O-Matic-inator". ("Whoops! Back to the drawing board, I guess. See you all next week!") His rampage simply can't be stopped! Meanwhile, at Wumpavision Studios, Inc., Crash is preparing to go onstage for his forced appearance on Meat the Garlic Press. He peeks out from behind the curtain, however, and sees the massive studio audience! Polar is in the audience, sadly licking a hard-serve ice cream cone. Pura is also there, with several fake black mustaches glued to his back in a desperate attempt to simulate stripes. Banana Bill and Boysenberry Larry are also there, disappointed that they've been forced to settle for mere plantains and blueberries. Dingodile is also there, having been reduced to depressedly playing a kazoo. Rilla Roo is also there, his overalls slightly askew. Frenchie Waiter is also there, though an usher kicks him out of the theatre after discovering that his ticket was signed in pencil instead of pen. ("Ay dios mio", he whines!) Drs. Tropy and Traction are also there, but aren't sitting together, because Frankenbrio's misdeeds caused them to break up. Komodos Joe and Moe are also there, their swordfish having somehow impaled their wacky circus hats. N. Gin is also there, being harassed by a swarm of bees (Tim Curry) because of the yummy pollen-y flowers in his missile. Melbrook Gabbons is also there, still itching his face a lot. Tiny is also there, still tearfully bellowing about how confusing circles are. Oxide is also there, ranting to no one in particular about how Frankenbrio destroyed his chance at television fame. Uncle Cortie is also there, still stuck in a beaker full of boysenberry syrup. Crash gasps in astonishment at the size of the audience. Uh oh! His old stage fright is acting up again! He can't possibly go out there! When we return from commercial break, we learn that Crashie has overcome his stage fright off-screen, and can now go out there. He takes his seat, and the cameras start rolling. Tom Wumpert welcomes the audience to the very special 100,000th episode of Meat the Garlic Press! Coco, watching the show at home, is extremely excited about this major landmark moment in Wumpavision news. Wumpert proceeds to introduce this week's panel: President of N. Sanity Beach, Papu Papu! Head political sciencing engineer for Cortex Co., Ripper Roo! And....Wumpert halts his intros to shed a tear. He announces that this is the first episode in the show's 100,000-episode run without child bandicoot wunderkind Coco Bandicoot present. Instead, taking her place is resident buffoon, Crash. Crashie waves to the nice people at home! But Coco, watching from home, suddenly feels a vague sense of emptiness in watching this Wumpavision landmark from home, instead of actually participating. Tom Wumpert introduces the panellists to the first topic of the day: this Frankenbrio fellow. 100% of Wumpa Islanders agree that he's ruining everything, according to the latest Scallop Poll! Crashie immediately tries to jump in with what he considers to be a clever political argument: "Boy, that economy sure is sunny today!" But the crowd remains unswayed. President Papu Papu assures the people that he's doing all he can to address the crisis, though Ripper Roo counters this by showing the crowd a photograph of Papu Papu standing by helplessly as Frankenbrio scrawls a horrifying frowny face on his belly. Frenchie Waiter stands up from his seat in the audience (despite having been ejected previously), and bellows that the pen in that picture is HIS pen, which Frankenbrio stole! Crash attempts to placate him by noting, "That just means the pen industry is more economic than ever." But Frenchie remains unswayed. He demands that President Papu Papu pass a law to end Frankenbrio's tyranny, but Papu protests that he can't. "I'm...too scared to pass laws alone." The crowd is outraged! Watching from home, Coco bemoans the Head of State's ineptitude. In the studio, everyone in the audience rushes the stage to air their personal complaints against the Frankenbrio monster. Polar whines that the monster ruined his soft-serve ice cream hub, thus denying "dial-up soft-serve access" to the world forever. Pura fights back tears as she says that her stripes were stolen from her. Banana Bill and Boysenberry Larry bemoan the loss of their namesake fruits, as do their previously unseen fruity chums, Strawberry Spencer and Orange Gelatin Sheldon. Dingodile angrily screeches that Frankenbrio sent his jazz funk to the lost dimension. Ripper Roo starts weeping over the loss of his precious TNT crates. Rilla Roo declares that he was forced to have fun in a bouncy castle against his will. Dr. Nefarious Tropy angrily shouts that Frankenbrio stole the love of his life from him, and now he'll be alone until the end of time. Komodo Joe and Komodo Moe thank Frankenbrio for his actions, however, as they've since learned that swordfish fillets are yummy. N. Gin protests, however, saying that one good meal can't make up for the monster's horrible misdeed of making his missile so darn presentable. Melbrook Gabbons states that Frankenbrio's itching powder trick ruined his career even worse than Dingodile did that one time. Tiny screams that Frankenbrio made his brains hurt. Oxide complains to the viewers at home that his plot this week was really, really clever and he really, really wishes Frankenbrio hadn't ruined it before he could at least tell them what it was. Pinstripe enters the studio late, with a huge red stain on his suit, informing the audience that the terrible Squirrelly the Squirrel shot a water balloon full of boysenberry preserves on him, ruining his highly fashionable Wumpamani suit - and by giving him a room that gave him perfect aim, Pinstripe figures, Brio was Squirrelly's partner in crime! ("And I'd do it again in a heartbeat!", responds Squirrelly.) Dr. Neo Cortex points out that he performed techno-surgery for Brio out of the kindness of his heart, but instead of giving the good doctor his insurance information, Frankenbrio gave him his injurance information. "By cramming me into this beaker!" Uka Uka complains that Dr. Brio horribly failed him at the "creating a special evil chemical with many evil properties behind the inept failure Cortex's back" scheme. Asks a confused Cortie, "What'd you just say?" But Uka Uka insists that he said absolutely nothing. Cortex, though initially doubtful, quickly decides that he has no reason not to believe his terrific boss. Tom Wumpert agrees with everyone's complaints, declaring that Frankenbrio also wronged him, by replacing all his ties with tie-shaped slices of bologna. Wumpert yanks his "tie" off his neck and takes a bite, before reiterating that it's "so wrong". In the face of this wall of evidence, Papu is convinced that he must do something about Frankenbrio, and fast! But what? Crashie chimes in: "Deport him!" Meanwhile, at the Bandicoots' lovely beach house, Coco is horrified by all of this. "Brio dedicated fifty years of hard work to making the Three Islands wonderful! How can they throw him out over this?" Suddenly, the phone rings. Coco orders Crash to get it, before remembering that she already sent him out to fill her seat. She sighs, and gets the phone herself. It's Mama Bandicoot, voiced this time by Tara Charendoff! She tells Coco that she's watching Meat the Garlic Press on her black-and-white Wumpavision set, but she doesn't see Coco anywhere. "And it's complete pandemonium in there!" She angrily orders Coco to get out there and fix the world! Coco suddenly realises that her mom is right. In watching Wumpavision all day, she became her brother! Oh no! But she refuses to let the glowing fruit tube control her any more. Meanwhile, in the studio, the crowd unanimously agrees to deport Frankenbrio. Suddenly, though, Frankenbrio crashes through the ceiling, and throws Tom Wumpert out the window! "I will not be stopped", he screeches! Ripper Roo tries to ward off the monster by throwing TNT Crates at him, only to be painfully reminded that his TNT crates were replaced with boring regular crates, which Frankenbrio easily Spin Attacks through. An enraged Crashie declares that he will NOT be upstaged so easily, as he charges at Frankenbrio and launches his new signature Thunder Spin Attack! But Frankenbrio easily overpowers him with a special technique of his own, the Super Thunder Spin Attack Deluxe. "I've finally met the one guy who can out-spin me," whines an insecure Crashie. "Nobody embarrasses my greatest enemy but ME," shouts a mysteriously un-beakered Dr. Neo Cortex, sternly, as he peels his N off his forehead and loads it into his high-tech slingshot, firing it straight at Frankenbrio's face. Frankenbrio is easily able to intercept it in midair, though, bending it into the shape of the letter L before sticking it back on Cortie's head. "It stands for LOSER", adds Frankenbrio, helpfully. This attack is so effective that Cortex passes out immediately. Tiny is horrified that Frankenbrio was mean to his favourite uncle like that, and lunges at Frankenbrio with great ferocity! However, Frankenbrio simply opens his arms and embraces Tiny in a big, warm hug, which makes Tiny so happy that he forgets how angry he was. Pinstripe steps up, loading a bunch of cannonballs into Tommy and firing them at Frankenbrio in one big cluster. But Frankenbrio is easily able to use his Mirror Tornado Spin to deflect them! The scattered cannonballs knock down Pinstripe, as well as everyone else in the studio the writers didn't want to have actually do anything during this big action sequence. "Looks like we're all goners", mutters Crash, hopelessly. Just in the nick of time, though, Coco arrives to save the day! Everyone doubts that a girl like her can do anything to stop the mighty monster, but Coco announces that she knows one thing nobody else does. Frankenbrio's body was made out of department store fashion mannequins, who dearly miss wearing anything fashionable. The berserk beast can be tamed simply by placating its deepest desires. To the tune of this week's slightly relyricked original song, "She Befriended Me with Science", Coco pulls out a big bag full of designer clothing items and throws them at Frankenbrio, one by one. As each article of clothing lands on his mannequin-y body, the monster calms a bit, until by the end of the montage, it is completely helpless. Cortex takes this opportunity to feed Frankenbrio a chemical beaker. This one turns him into normal Dr. Nitrus Brio, who is understandably dazed. "What just happened?", he asks. "It's a long story", notes Cortex. Brio announces that, after everything he's been through, he's reached a realisation. It doesn't matter how strong he is - it's his inner courage that really matters. If he'd just stood up to himself against the thief, none of this madness would've happened. "You've finally learned your lesson", announces Uka Uka, who reveals that HE was the thief, who did it as a way to test the strength of Brio's convictions. Cortex is saddened to learn that there really was a secret potion Uka Uka had another scientist make because he no longer trusted Cortex. Cortex angrily snatches the potion from Uka Uka's bony hands, and throws it in the trash. "Now we're even", says Cortex, though Uka Uka and Brio jointly yell at him for failing the "taking the news of your betrayal well" scheme. Squirrelly the Squirrel is so touched by this display, for some reason, that he approaches Pinstripe and apologises. Pinstripe is initially reluctant, but soon they agree to let bygones be bygones, and warmly shake hands. And Tropy approaches Traction, saying that maybe they shouldn't have split up just because some monster ruined one date after all. Getting down on one knee, he adds, "So, will you marry me?" Traction eagerly accepts his proposal! It appears that everyone is finally happy again. Later, at the Bandicoots' lovely beach house, we see that Crashie is leaning back in his Wump-a-Boy recliner watching Wump by Wump on Wumpavision. Coco emerges from the kitchen to ask if he wants Wumpbacon on his Wumpburger. "Of course I want Wumpbacon on my Wumpburger!! Did you really have to interrupt me to ask??", bellows Crashie, as he throws a vase at Coco! Coco just ducks, and smiles at this display. She explains to the viewers at home that she's learned the most important lesson of all: don't ever strive to change yourself ever, because you are who you are. Category:Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures! Season 3